A Dream Needs Freedom

Today I dropped my son off at the airport on his way to begin his second semester as a cadet at the prestigious United States Air Force Academy. One of the toughest things that we have ever had to do was to leave our son at the academy and drive ten hours back home knowing that things would never be the same again. The parenting principles that we have learned says that despite the changes our relationship will get better. At that time we wondered if this was true.

Our son grew up with lots of energy, went to great public schools, was a brilliant student, a good musician and a competitive athlete. In elementary school, he expressed an interest in space and we helped him build a space suit. We, as a family, travel moderately, so our kids have been on airplanes flying nationally and internationally from an early age. Around age 14, he declared that he wanted to be an astronaut and design airplanes. Later that same year, he told me that he wanted to attend college at the Air Force Academy. We even took a family vacation that included a trip to the Kennedy Space Center. He worked hard the next 3 years to ensure that he was a top competitor for an entrance slot to the academy.

We encourage our children to have dreams. We teach them to understand that dreams birth creativity, give us hope, keep us excited and allow us to persevere. We also teach them that luck is mostly being prepared to take advantage of an opportunity when it arises. Those lucky people that we see are usually those who have been prepared and was ready to move at the tight time. We were, and are the most excited, for our son's achievements; we boast on both our kids; we are their biggest cheerleaders.

Yet the joy of that achievement still was tempered by the fact that the only way our son could achieve his dream was for us to trust him to those who are much better equipped to help him reach those goals. As we drove back last summer and as I left him at the airport today, I was reminded that to be a dream builder with our son we have to free him from our home and our daily oversight to follow the trail of his dreams. Fulfillment of dreams requires freedom to pursue those dreams. I was also reminded that if we had done our jobs well as parents over the last eighteen years, he has all the foundational tools to make it on his own and that the best gift we could give him is freedom to follow where God is leading home.

Parenting has many cares along with its many rewards. Our children are gifts from God entrusted to us for nurturing, development, encouragement, love, care, guidance and support. Letting go is very difficult and painful. However, our new relationship is evolving, the celebrations and the rewards are different but they are just as cherished and fulfilling.