When Getting Older Becomes Painful

I remember the time when I so much wanted to be older. Being young was too restrictive; too many things that were not for kids; places we could not go. I wanted to be older; to be free. My dreams were calling me. I could not wait to finish school and get on with it. I never really wanted to leave home. I had a poor but great home and friends and was in a good band. To pursue my dreams I had to leave.

I got through college and got married. We started our home and family together. Our kids came along and have been hugh blessing. My wife improved my life tremendously over the years. However, one secret of getting older evaded me until recently. As I got older, my parents, mentors and spiritual leaders also got older. I was not prepared for that. I think I expected them to stay the same because I needed them to stay the same. They were my pillars of strength. How could they get ol? Some have even crossed over.

My mother is the strongest person I have even known. She has more faith than anyone I have ever met. She has survived the pain of unfaithful men while raising siblings and eight children. She has survived severe hardship. Yet she never gave up, she loves her Lord, evangelized an entire community basically by herself. She has fed and clothed more people than some non-profit organizations.

Today, the ravages of age has invaded her body. Her walk is now slow, her physical strength is fading, her mind wanders to places that bring her joy, her heart they say is weakened and cancer is is migrating through her body. I wish I could be twenty again. I don't really want to grow up. Being under her direct rule would be a great thing right now.



My father (not the sperm donor but the one who fulfilled the role) used to run races regularly. He mentored and discipled over one hundred and twenty young men. He shares in our lives, knows our wives, our hurts, our joys and or struggles. He found me in a church on the island twenty six years ago and planted the words of a dream maker in my heart. My life has never been the same. He is a man of integrity, a faithful father and husband. His spiritual strength would cripple Samson.


Today, the ravages of age has invaded his body. Though his invasion is not as extensive as my mother's, he stills experiences his symptoms.


Solomon says that there is a time for everything under heaven (Eccles. 3:1). Maybe we can find a way to freeze time. If they have to grow up too then let's stay young.

Principle Centered Leadership I

I have made some observations over the years as I have looked at the current state of our world, the dysfunction and impotence of United Nations, the political and ethical dearth in the United States and even political divide in some churches. There is a lack of principle centered leadership among those who want to be considered leaders and are asking others to follow them.

The most influential and principle centered leader known to man is Jesus Christ. He exemplified the power of leadership to create, motivate and channel human energy to change the world for the better. Jesus' principles were established early in this ministry and despite severe opposition and unspeakable persecution, he was able to recruit, train, equip and motivate a diverse band of unlikely men to take on the task of evangelizing the entire known world. The influence of that band is still in effect today.

Principle centered leadership leadership can also be used for negative results. Such leaders as Hitler, Stalin, and Jim Jones come to mind. They stuck to their principles to the detriment of thousands, even millions of followers.

The world has always been looking for leaders to follow. Today's lack of principle centered leadership has resulted in a world of confusion. People posing as leaders conduct opinion polls to determine what they will say in different venues to get votes, raise money and at times even conveniently omit relevant information. The world body established discuss and resolve issues on the world stage, the United Nations, is impotent to resolve problems or even keep the peace. There leadership principles are secular, their members come from the ranks of politically appointed miscreants and despots who desire personal power above finding sound resolutions. The United States congress struggles to address significant and critical issues because members have large staffs who spend their days crafting headline grabbing sound bites to 'shape' public opinion and raise money for their re-election accounts rather than establish principled solutions to the nations challenges.

The national main line media stations and newspapers (even some overseas based outlets) would rather make news than report news even if it means using non-credible sources to substantiate a bad story. Journalists now report for ratings as opposed to report on the facts.

We pass laws to protect women's rights to their bodies while millions of babies are murdered. Later we call a national crisis when older children murder their peers. Unfortunately , the depravity of murdering children in the womb has now gravitated youth murdering youth and parents killing their own children outside the womb.

Leadership without foundational principles leads to confusion, self-centeredness and immorality. The path of least resistance always leads to no resistance, a blowing in the wind. Effective leaders operate from a set of irrevocable pillars that guide them in spite of popular opinion, criticism, setbacks. It drives them to vision and mission. They are not afraid of failure nor do they need the comfort of popular consensus. I'll talk about that in part II.

A Dream Needs Freedom

Today I dropped my son off at the airport on his way to begin his second semester as a cadet at the prestigious United States Air Force Academy. One of the toughest things that we have ever had to do was to leave our son at the academy and drive ten hours back home knowing that things would never be the same again. The parenting principles that we have learned says that despite the changes our relationship will get better. At that time we wondered if this was true.

Our son grew up with lots of energy, went to great public schools, was a brilliant student, a good musician and a competitive athlete. In elementary school, he expressed an interest in space and we helped him build a space suit. We, as a family, travel moderately, so our kids have been on airplanes flying nationally and internationally from an early age. Around age 14, he declared that he wanted to be an astronaut and design airplanes. Later that same year, he told me that he wanted to attend college at the Air Force Academy. We even took a family vacation that included a trip to the Kennedy Space Center. He worked hard the next 3 years to ensure that he was a top competitor for an entrance slot to the academy.

We encourage our children to have dreams. We teach them to understand that dreams birth creativity, give us hope, keep us excited and allow us to persevere. We also teach them that luck is mostly being prepared to take advantage of an opportunity when it arises. Those lucky people that we see are usually those who have been prepared and was ready to move at the tight time. We were, and are the most excited, for our son's achievements; we boast on both our kids; we are their biggest cheerleaders.

Yet the joy of that achievement still was tempered by the fact that the only way our son could achieve his dream was for us to trust him to those who are much better equipped to help him reach those goals. As we drove back last summer and as I left him at the airport today, I was reminded that to be a dream builder with our son we have to free him from our home and our daily oversight to follow the trail of his dreams. Fulfillment of dreams requires freedom to pursue those dreams. I was also reminded that if we had done our jobs well as parents over the last eighteen years, he has all the foundational tools to make it on his own and that the best gift we could give him is freedom to follow where God is leading home.

Parenting has many cares along with its many rewards. Our children are gifts from God entrusted to us for nurturing, development, encouragement, love, care, guidance and support. Letting go is very difficult and painful. However, our new relationship is evolving, the celebrations and the rewards are different but they are just as cherished and fulfilling.

2007 - We have Hope.

This is the first day of 2007. We have just completed a fantastic year in 2006. The blessings of God were all over our lives and we experienced His bounty personally and as a family. Those who received our Christmas letter would know of specific examples where we celebrated and new experiences that were given to us.

As we enter 2007, I wanted the first thing I read to be the Bible. I wanted to begin with an eternal perspective. I opened the Word to Ecclesiastes chapter 9. Here are some verses that I believe spoke to me for this coming year:

4 Anyone who is among the living has hope —
even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!
7 Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your
wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God
favors what you do.
10 Whatever your hand finds to do,
do it with all your might, for in the grave,
where you are going, there is neither working
nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
11 I have seen something else under the sun:
The race is not to the swift
or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
or wealth to the brilliant
or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all.

Most of all, we have hope. Without hope we are lost and destined for failure. Hope feeds life and enthusiasm. God favors us and will provide for our needs. Whatever we do we should do it to our very best because it will reflect our hope and God's blessings. It is very important then that we choose carefully what we spend our time and efforts doing. Our choices should not reflect conflict with the word of God.

God gives each of us oportunity regardless of whether or not we are the fastest, most brilliant, most learned or strongest. Each of us has potential (time and chance) to succeed and experience God's favor. This reminds me that life is less about competing with others as much as it is competing with ourselves to defeat laziness, procrastination, and comfort to move onto excellence.

Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
The "NIV" and "New International Version" trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society. Use of either trademark requires the permission of International Bible Society.